OHSballer10
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Name: Katherine
Birthday: 8/21/1992
Gender: Female


Interests: Basketball, guyz, sports, hanging out with friends, talking on the phone and internet, going outside, laying out, and prolly some more basketball..
Expertise: IDK???
Occupation: Student


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Website: visit my website
AIM: tnvolzgurl
Yahoo: bbalchck401


Member Since: 5/14/2006

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Sunday, September 30, 2007

questions.

why do we cry when we think about it?
we know everything will be ok
but just in case it isnt we have these tears
these tears that just wont go away

how do we make them go away?
all people do is reassure us that everythings ok
but all we want is that physical proof
that proof that we want more than anything
that proof that we really cant get

what if the proof isnt good enough?
what if we want more?
what do we do?
do we just move on... no, we dont.
we fight until we hear the proof we want.

what if we hear the truth and we dont like it?
usually we dont believe it.
usually we ignore it  and move on.
but its the truth and we can't run from it.
all we can do is learn from it.

how do we get where we want?
how are you supposed to know what to choose?
there all these choices and you know where you wanna go
but you dont know which path to take
and whether it will get you there or not

what if you choose the wrong path?
do you lose the future that you know you wanted?
or do you get that and your path?
i dont think both is possible.
i think you have to choose.

but what if we cant choose?
what if dont know what to choose?
do you just choose one and hope for the best?
i really dont know what else you could do...
all i know is hopefully i dont choose wrong.

 

 

see what happens when i think.
whatever :/


Thursday, September 20, 2007

well, today is just that kind of day.

"Today"
Written by Billy Collins.

If ever there were a spring day so perfect,
so uplifted by a warm intermittent breeze

that it made you want to throw
open all the windows in the house

and unlatch the door to the canary's cage,
indeed, rip the little door from its jamb,

a day when the cool brick paths
and the garden bursting with peonies

seemed so etched in sunlight
that you felt like taking

a hammer to the glass paperweight
on the living room end table,

releasing the inhabitants
from their snow-covered cottage

so they could walk out,
holding hands and squinting

into this larger dome of blue and white,
well, today is just that kind of day.

We read this poem this weekend for homework in English.
It seems so simple but there is a deep meaning behind it.
but yeah...

I interpreted it as there being two different worlds.
The person telling this story is helping everything else and himself break free.
For example, the bird in the canary cage.
Or the little people in the snowglobe on the end table.
Or even himself breaking out of the house into the world outside.

I wish today was the kind of day where that was possible.
A day where we could just break free of all the wrongs we dont want.
A day where we could break through the things holding us back like a cage.
A day to be free.

What does that word mean anyways?

Freedom.

I don't even know anymore.
It seems like its being taken away from us by force.
And not by terrorist filled countries; by our own government.

I dont know.

Oh well... I liked the poem
but it made me think too much about everything else going on in the world
and made me want a day like that where I could just break free of everything.

Maybe thats what I need to do...

 

Comment it.
Tell me your opinions, on mine or the poem.
I like discussing things like this. :]]


Monday, August 20, 2007

i love church.
and i love going.
but it makes me think to much.

John 1:12-13

But to all who did recieve him,
He gave them the right to be children of God,
to those who believe in His name,
who were born,
not of blood,
or of the will of the flesh,
or of the will of man,
but of God.

in class...
we started talking about this story and watched a video of the amazing olympic guy.
he was running in this championship 400 meter race...
when he started slowing down and stopped.
he had ripped one of his hamstrings.
he continued to go on a try to limp his way to the finish line.
he needed to finish the race.
all of a sudden someone in the stands climbed through the swarm of people and jumped the concrete wall and walked out on the track.
it was the runners father.
his father said he could stop.
but the runner kept pushing on.
he ended up using his father as a crutch and walked to the finish line.
everyone in the crowd stood up and cheered him on.
they didn't care who had won the race that day.

the lesson i learned from that is that God is our crutch
people lean on him, depend on him, and give their lives to him.
he is the only one that will always be there.
no matter what he will always be that crutch.
he will be the one to keep you strong.
not once has he not been there for me.


Jesus Christ is the source of life...
physical life and especially spiritual and eternal life.


do i look like a christian? does anyone?
how can you tell phyically if someone is a christian?
i guess the way they act, what they do, what they say.
but if i look at those things in my life... i dont look like a christian.

now it seems like anyone ever does is sin.
seriously, when are we not sinners.
everyone is born a sinner
and when you are saved God forgives you for that sin
but people still sin because they think they will go to heaven no matter what
but thats not true... getting saved isnt your ticket to heaven.
so why do people think that?

is God truly responsible for everything that happens?
i saw about 5 people holding hands in church today... even some 70 year old couple.
it was adorable to think they still feel that way about each other after so long.
it makes you think that true love actually is possible and not just made up.
but is God responsible for that feeling those people have and i have?
is there anything he is not repsonsible for or is our own free will that controls us?
i dont know...

i love being a baptist.
i love how we can scream AMEN in the middle of service and no one says anything about it.
we express ourselves in ways other people don't.
we sing so loud that you can hear it outside of church.
we have the most amazing band on the face of the earth.
i am one of those AMEN people just to warn you

i started thinking about the people in heaven looking down on us today.
i was staring at the ceiling for the longest time wondering where exactly heaven is.
at first i was thinking about my grandmother and i hope i don't let her down.
she always knew i could do something with my life and not be like my brothers.
then.. i started thinking about shanna's mom.
how much she misses her and we have no idea how shanna must feel.
its something so much more than anything i've ever imagined.
a mom is usually a daughters best friend.
they love us no matter what happens.
we are a part of them.
her mom was amazing.
she honestly was a great woman.
she was so involved in everything.
and she knew everyone.
i feel like a knew her.

before you go to church every sunday and wednesday you need to ask yourslef a question....
why are you going?
to hang out with friends?
or to actually talk to God?
just ask yourself that and see if you are going for the right reasons...


Saturday, August 04, 2007

i hate growing up.
honestly, i do.

when we were little everything was less complicated.
we thought nobody could get hurt.
we thought that we, ourselves, were invincible.

truth is, when you grow up that changes.

everything is possible now.
whether you realize it or not.
truth is, everything was possible then.
we just didn't have the capabilities to make things happen.

now we have all this power.
we get to have a say in things now.
we are no longer the "little kids."
some of us are old enough to vote.
some of us are actually mature.
so mature, we earn that power.

through the years we have changed.
but the question is what changed us.

was it society?
was it our heroes?
was it our friends?
or was it ourselves?

personally i think its all of those and tons more
everything changes you in one way or another
you just have to figure out how you changed

it could be the smallest little thing like gaining strength
or it could be something big like giving someone trust or something.

i have realized recently that i have changed
and in my opinion for the better

i have gotten through things that have been holding me back my whole life
i'm willing to face things now and stand up to people
i'm willing to fight for things or people that i love
i'm really willing to do anything now
and i have never been this strong

i think part of it has to do with the people around me.
my friends help me so much more than i realize.
they stand up for me in ways i could never thank them for.

i like the way things have changed in my life.
but i really want to go back to thinking i was invincible.
and i want to believe no one could get hurt.

i mean.. now in high school.
people are getting killed.
people are getting messed up in drugs.
all these bad influences are entering our lives.
people get busted for things you could never think of.
fights occur weekly at school.
people are even getting hit by trucks when riding a bike.

i mean.. when we were little we NEVER thought anything could hurt us.
none of us actually looked both ways before crossing the road
because none of us thought it was necessary.
but the thing is... it is necessary.
people can get hurt.
we arent invincible like we used to think.

things change.


Sunday, July 22, 2007

you know someone once told me that "love is a powerful thing...lemme give a word to the wise, don't throw your heart around with too many boyfriends, I truly think, and I speak honestly here, don't hate me, I say this because I care, that you have had too many boyfriends in too short a period of time. Even if each one was a harmless fling or whatever, you left an imprint of yourself on each boy you dated. And to people who don't know you, it gives the impression that you really don't take dating seriously. NOW I KNOW THATS NOT TRUE, and I never said thats what I think of you, but guys will see that, and be slightly turned off. I don't your a really great guy to think less of you because he thinks you'll date anything that walks, AGAIN, THIS IS NOT MY OPINION OF YOU! As someone who can easily get inside the mind of a male (heh...) I personally would be much less likely to get in a relationship with someone who wouldn't take it seriously."

honestly, as much as i hate to admit it, this is true.
i have thrown my heart around a lot lately.
and honestly, i hate that i've done it.

but its stops now.

in the past 6 weeks i have changed.
i'm not who i was 2 years ago.
not even 7 weeks ago.

you know...
no matter what paul did to me...
no matter how bad we treated each other...
we always wanted to be together but we just never were... [not now but at mcfadden]
he told me like 3 weeks ago that he still felt that way... [scary]
which honestly i dont understand.

but i waited 2 years for that boy to grow up.
ever since i've been looking for someone who made me feel as good as he did.
and i found a guy like that, a guy better than that.
6 weeks ago, i did.

and lately, i've been making the right decisions.
and i havent been throwing anything around.
i'm just.. good right now

i'm actually proud of myself...
seems kind of selfish but i am...



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